To approach or be approached

A discussion on twitter a few days ago prompted me to give the topic of approaching a potential partner in the BDSM realm some thought. That thought gave birth to some words. And here we are now with a blog post. Enjoy.

The comment was made by a Dom on my twitter timeline. It was along the lines that he rarely ever makes the first move with a sub, but instead waits for her to approach him. That he does not ask or demand her submission, instead waits for her to offer it. He feels like this is a very submissive act.

It sparked an interesting conversation. I am going to discuss this topic from my perspective as a sub who is active in both the online and real time BDSM communities. I firmly believe there is no one true way to do anything in our lifestyle. These are my thoughts, my opinions and they may, wholly or in part, differ from everyone else's. Please feel free to discuss in the comments, BUT be nice.

There seemed to be two very distinct sides. Those who agree that the sub should make the approach and the offer and those who say that most subs would be uncomfortable being that assertive with a Dom. There didn't seem to be much middle ground or thoughts of leaving it up to the situation to dictate who approached who.

Let me clarify that the approach, as I am referring to it in this post, is the private approach, not the initial public, open room / timeline approach. The first email, DM, text, phone call, secluded area of a play party. The private approach where an admission of attraction and chemistry happens. The time when the water is tested to see if that attraction is reciprocated. This is not the very first encounter between possible sub and possible Dom. It is the approach where things are moved from public encounters to more private ones. Where things have the potential to move from fun and flirty to something much more serious.

I am of the first school of thought. I believe the sub should initiate this change in the dynamic. I believe this for a couple of different reasons.

It empowers her. It is her decision, unaffected by his powers of persuasion.

It is safer for her.

It is less confusing for her.

It is a beautiful offering for her.

And, at this point, for her, it is still about her. When things move along, that usually changes, but at this point in the relationship, she is responsible for herself, her safety and well being and it should be about her.

It empowers her. It is her decision, unaffected by his powers of persuasion: Ultimately, no matter how you slice it, the decision to submit your will to another's is your decision as is who you decide to submit to. It is empowering to be the one to take the first step. It is important to know that YOU choose him... that YOU willing took the first step in his direction. Dominant men can be very persuasive. It is usually one of the things we love the most about them. But this decision should not be colored by his influence.

**Personal note: I have made the first approach a handful of times, far fewer than the number of times that I have been approached. It has always been a better dynamic and it has always been a better ending when I made the first step than when I am pursued and convinced to submit. Every time.**

It is safer for her: This one, specifically, hits close to home in the online places. I'm not sure about other submissives on Twitter and other online places, like fetlife, and possibly other dating / fetish sites, but I am approached, at least, every couple of days by Dominants on Twitter or fet in private... in my messages or DMs. Most of these messages come with very little to no actual prior interaction between me and the sender. Honestly, to me, this feels like the equivalent of being trapped alone in a dark corner of the dungeon by an unknown aggressive Dom, who chose that location, that moment, empty of other people, to isolate me to find out if I am owned, under protection, or if I am even looking. Some don't even ask these questions. They just show up in the messages making demands and assumptions that I'm just going to fall at their feet. Just a clue... If you are a Dom who behaves this way... Stop it!

It sends my defenses screaming to full power to be approached in such a way, especially if we have interacted very little or not at all previous to this message. Submission is not a game to me. It's not just role play. I am in search of a Dom that I have an undeniable chemistry with. A Dom who exudes quite strength and composure. Aggressive but in the right timing, in the right way. I, and many other subs I know, are not going to fall down at a Doms feet just because he says he is a Dom and tells us too.

When I've decided to approach a Dom, it means that I feel safe enough with him to do so. That generally only comes from interacting with him in the safety of a public venue... the timelines, the forums, chat rooms, across a munch table, etc. Even as it feels safer to me to be the one making the approach, it is also scary at the same time. I may think I know if he is interested or not, but there is always the chance for rejection. So Doms if you are approached, be nice. Having said that, knowing myself and what sort of man intrigues me, I am very confident that I would not approach a Dom who wouldn't know how to gracefully decline a sub's overtures.

It is less confusing for her. What I mean by this is, that if I approach a Dominant, I am doing so because I feel safe doing so. I am doing so because I feel like some sort of connection has been made. It is my choice to do so. It is a clear headed decision unaffected by anything but my own thoughts and desires.

When I am approached by some Dom types it's very easy for me to know that they are a terrible fit for me, and fairly easy to shake them. But some have such a direct and overwhelming effect on my submissive center that my brain just sort of shuts down and takes a little mini vacation while I let someone I barely know, influence my decision making. Because it is in my nature to submit, strong Dominant men who I have a natural chemistry with can confuse things for me if they are not self-aware enough to recognize the effect that they have on me and be careful with that influence or if they do recognize it and just don't care enough to be responsible with it. This has happened a time or two and it was disastrous and very damaging for me, which is why my defenses go screaming sky high when I am approached first.

It's beautiful to offer yourself: The gentleman who started this thread of thought said that he believed the act of taking the first step to be a very submissive act and I agree with him completely. The first time I contact a Dominant privately (especially online), in my mind, the approach is done tentatively, sweetly, gracefully and yes, even a bit shyly (I know, shocker. But, in this situation, yes... shyly). When I make that contact, in private, it is because I am interested in the possibilities. I don't fall down on my knees and offer to serve. At least not, wholly. But if I am the one that makes the first contact, you can know confidently, that the thought has crossed my mind. That moment, while I wait for you to respond, is the first truly vulnerable moment for me. It's the first time I've offered you anything that will give you the power to hurt me in anyway. That is a scary moment for me. It is what you do with that vulnerability, with that power... that will determine the rest of the story for us.

**NOTE: Making that first move, initiating the contact is not an offer of submission. Simply an offer of interest.

Thoughts? 

Strangers

It is all about pushing boundaries. Facing fears and overcoming them. I knew that when I got involved with Him. I just didn't think this was going to be one of them. It terrifies me so much that it has always been on my hard limits list. So why the fuck was I here? Why was I standing here, the rushing water of the creek inches from my sandaled toes? As I watched the water rush over the rocks and felt the cool breeze blowing over my skin, I remembered standing here with Him on his last visit. Had it really only been four days ago? 

The memory plays through my mind.  He leaned in close behind me, wrapping His strong arms around my waist and in that low, sexy voice of His, He told me, in explicit details how He wants to tie me to that fallen tree over the water. He wants to suspend me just inches from the rushing water, so close that the spray as it passe over the rocks, will cover my bare skin. He whispers how it makes His cock hard to think of me there, helpless, tied, naked with my skin covered in goosebumps. I felt my breath catch as the implications of that idea set in.  Standing there on the bank, watching the water flow, the scene shifted from peaceful tranquility in my mind, to something akin to terror as He continued to talk. My eyes wide and body trembling as I watch the bubbling water. 

In our short time together, one thing I had come to know about Him, was that once an idea took root in His mind, it was only a very short time before He would want it to be a reality. I swallowed hard fighting the fear that began to overwhelm me at the thought. I felt His arms tighten around me as He traced light, teasing kisses over my neck. The fear mixed with the delicious sensations of His mouth on my skin leaving me lightheaded. My reaction to His words fueled more words. Fear. Excitement. Terror. Torment. He could feel every emotion I was feeling and He fed on them. He whispered about tying me to the top of the tree, my back against the rough bark, the rope biting into my skin as he flogged me mercilessly... up and down the entire front of my body. My hands held tight by my side, my body tied in such a way that wiggling would be near impossible... "I mean, we wouldn't want you wiggling loose and falling into the water, would we?" He asked, with a wicked grin on His lips. I shivered. We spent the next several hours of that visit, fucking right there in the woods... the sound of the dreaded water bubbling in my ears as I lost myself in Him over and over and over that afternoon.

And, now here I was in the same spot, four days later. I had an assignment. It seemed so simple. Make my way to the rock in the center of the creek. Strip to the panties He had picked out. Sit. Use the bondage tape to bind my feet together at the ankles and my left hand to my left thigh. Set the timer for 15 minutes and put on the blindfold, hold my right arm bent behind my back until the timer goes off. When the timer goes off, snap a photo from above, trying to capture the perspective of Him standing over me. Send it to Him. If He is satisfied, it will be complete and I can dress and remove myself from the water. Simple, right?

I am not afraid of water. I know how to swim. I spend a good deal of time in the water every summer. However, I am terrified of drowning. And, being bound in a creek of swift moving water seemed to be a good start to possible drowning. I had told Him all of this. That revelation was met with His question of whether or not I trusted Him to keep me safe no matter what activity we were engaged in. (Of course I do.) And a task to push my boundaries and force me face to face with one of my biggest fears. So, here I am with a choice to make. The cool water laps at my toes and the bubbling water fills my ears. I feel a little sick, a little scared. Am I going to be able to go through with it or will leave and call Sir... tell Him I failed... that I was just too big of a sissy? 

The sound of footsteps invades my thoughts, startling me. I turn to find a group of young boys behind me. Nineteen, twenty years old... maybe. They are watching me and I realize I have no idea how long they have been. I make eye contact with the one that appears to be the leader of this little pack, wave a little half wave hoping they will just leave. I have a task to complete.

He smiles. A big, friendly, disarming sort of smile and continues to move towards me, his eyes sliding left and right, looking around the area and the air around us seems to shift from a calm, peaceful day to something much more malevolent. Nervous now and suddenly very aware of just how isolated this area is, I start to walk back the way I came, but too late, I realize I am going to have to walk right through the three of them to get back to the trail. Damn. They've stopped approaching me, but they are blocking the way, intentionally... humor playing over their handsome features. 

Putting my head down and pushing forward, I try to get past them. I can smell them. They smell really good. Damnit. I can feel their energy buzzing. I glance up to see the blond one, smirking at me. He has an incredible mouth. OH Stop that, I tell myself. This is a dangerous situation. One more step and I would have walked right into him. His eyes held a dangerous little glint as I tried to side step him and he matched my move. He chuckled at my obvious distress and the air was electrified as the primal nature of the boys, with prey in sight, began to kick in. 

The other two boys came in close. I retreated a step, trying not to let them see the mix of emotions flooding through me. I should be scared to death, but there was a sexy little thrill that clearly should not have been. It was very clear that these boys had me in their sites and a very good chance I wasn't going to be getting safely away, much less completing my task. Out of nowhere I thought, "what in the world am I going to tell sir about why the task isn't done?" Even as I stepped back again, away from the advancing trio with a growing hunger in their eyes, my concern of my failed task was all I could think about. 

A stroke of genius flashed as I backed painfully into the trunk of a tree, the bark biting into my back and shoulders. If I took a filthy story back to Sir, maybe the failure of the task would be forgiven. He liked such things and it is so out of my nature to be so bold that it seemed a perfect solution. If I let these boys have their way with me, that would make a filthy story to tell Sir. I knew, instinctively, that He would love the idea. The butterflies in my belly took flight as the decision was made. It would have to be really good to earn the forgiveness for the failed task. I was going to have to make it count. I hated failing. If I was going to fail, I was going to have something equally delightful to take to Him.

I dropped the bag I had in my hand, when my back connected with the tree. I cried out in surprise, my lips forming that perfect little O shape and my eyes, touched with fear, just the perfect amount of gullibility and boldness watched as the trio approached. I let the very real fear I was feeling creep into my eyes, feeling my body begin to tremble. They recognized the fear and the surrender and grew bolder. "Are you here alone, little girl?" The tallest of the three asked, his eyes raking over my body shamelessly. I nodded that I was. I swallowed hard. I looked afraid, vulnerable. They were looking for prey, so I became prey... even as my lust began to build. 

"Pretty girl, pretty girl alone in the woods." one of them murmured as they closed the space between us. The lust of the three of them filled the air, it was contagious and I felt my body respond. My nipples hardened beneath the thin blouse I wore. My breasts are large and pierced and usually I don't go without a bra, but today I had been instructed too do just that. I could feel the thin fabric rubbing against the sensitive buds as they tightened making my arousal apparent to all of them and none of them missed it. 

They were right on top of me now. Still I didn't fight. I wanted to be repulsed, but my body betrayed me, beginning to tingle and wet in anticipation. I knew deep down, I wanted what they were going to do to me. I used the gift of the story to Sir as my reason, but it was just an excuse to give in. I felt them pawing at me, clumsily like young boys do, their eyes heavy with lust and their voices thick with violent tendencies. I didn't fight them off. I let their amateur groping become frenzied as their fingers skimmed over every inch of my exposed skin. The hunger was growing in them, I could feel it. My back arched lustily as one of them braved a handful of tit, his big, strong hand closing down tightly and I cried out. 

Like the first shot fired in a standoff, my cry sent all three of them over the edge. Their hands were everywhere, I could feel them pinching and pulling. They pushed me roughly against the tree, I heard the thin fabric of my shirt rip.

Their voices filled my head with the filthy thoughts they were speaking.
"Gonna fuck the shit outta you, pretty girl."
"Stick my cock in that pretty mouth of yours."
"Maybe I'll ram my cock in your asshole. Bet you ain't never had anyone do that before."
"Fucking titties so fucking big, give me that tittie, pinch it and squeeze it."
"Gonna hurt you, girl. You'll love it, I can tell what a slut you are."

The words washed over me as they pinched and pulled at my nipples. One grabbed my bottom lip between his fingers and pulled it hard, talking about all the depraved things he was going to do to my mouth.

The boy standing in front of me, the youngest of the three, thrilled at that sound of my shirt tearing and pulled again, ripping the shirt down the middle and exposing my breasts. Leaning his head down, he bit his way, sharply, across my collar bones and down to the soft flesh. I did not protest. I closed my eyes and let them have their way, let my body respond to them.  I felt the other two boys' hands around my wrists pulling my arms painfully back around each side of the tree. My shorts and the pretty panties Sir had picked out were unceremoniously pulled down around my ankles, exposing all of me to the boys' probing. With their free hands the other two boys, were pinching and pulling, playfully slapping any part of my body they could reach. 

I knew I should try to fight them, but my body was responding to their violent touches and I couldn't have fought them off, even if I had truly wanted too. I am a good girl. But at my core, I am a slut. I love fucking. I love violent fucking. I love being used. My body practically begs for it. These boys, though obviously inexperienced, were stroking my lusty inner slut to life with every bite, every pinch, every slap. I felt the two boys holding my hands slide their knees between my thighs, forcing me to open for the third boy. I could see his cock straining against his shorts. I licked my lips and when our eyes met, I asked boldly, "Is that for me? You think you could make me cum with that little cock of yours?" I was baiting him. How deep did his violence run?

The challenge danced in my eyes and ignited a fury in him. Taking his cock out, stroking it as he watched his friends holding me. He thrust his cock at me, sliding it between my legs clumsily, threatening to show me just what a man he was, just how hard he could make me cum. The position was all wrong, he was never going to get it in this way, I giggled a little. His friends pissed at my laughing and taunting of their friend, let go of my arms and pulled me by my ankles roughly down the tree trunk and onto the ground. The sharp bark of the tree scraping the skin from my back and the rough floor of the forest painful even as they grabbed my legs holding them wide open for him. I wasn't fighting but they put their knees on my arms anyway, pinning me to the forest floor, open wide for the boy's violation. 

My cunt, wet and slick, was ready for him. My hips thrust lustily  towards him, my eyes daring him to try. He plunged his cock inside of me, pummeling away as his buddies egged him on. My body responded, bucking wildly against him. My arms pinned to the ground under the knees of the other two boys and my legs spread wide by their hands, I writhed under the boy, digging my scratched back into the twigs and leaves under me. The grunting of the boy filling my ears, his sweat dripping onto my face as he continued his rhythmic thrusting. The other boys started to complain that he'd had his turn. It was their turn with the pretty little whore all alone in the woods. But the boy was relentless, he wasn't giving up his place between my legs just yet. I came, my cries filling the air, my body tightening around him, quaking with the orgasm. In the throes of the orgasm, my head lifted from the ground, my eyes opened and my heart nearly dropped to the middle of the earth.

Standing there just beyond the trio of boys, was my Sir. My lust addled brain could not make sense of this. Fleeting thoughts slid around in my head, I hadn't finished my task, and I hadn't finished the story I was going to tell to make up for not finishing my task, and I hadn't asked permission to fuck these boys here, I just came without permission, and what... what was he doing here?  The fear of being caught by Him in such a compromising position was clearly evident on my face as I watched Him watching us.The boys were unaware of his presence. They continued to hold me, to pinch me, and the boy between my legs just kept thrusting. But my focus was wholly on Him now. His eyes met mine and to my surprise, instead of rage there, I found... pride. Clearly, He was enjoying the show. He was enjoying seeing His little slut being so greedily used. Seeing the approval in His eyes, the proof of His enjoyment stretching His jeans tight over His hardening cock, I grinned a wicked little grin for Him and my eyes never leaving His, fucked the boy. I was no longer afraid at all, I was emboldened by His presence, by His approval. 

The boys were still arguing when one of them became aware that my focus had shifted and looked around to find Sir standing behind them. The boys stopped arguing with each other, but reamained holding me tightly down. They watched Him with fear in their eyes He quietly walked into the same space we occupied. I watched Him with lust and adoration. He made eye contact with each of them and each of them looked away first. These boys were children in the presence of Sir and they knew it. What they couldn't figure out was why He hadn't made them stop. Why He wasn't coming to my defense, rescuing me. One of the boys, foolishly, tried to tell Him that I was there with them, that I was his girlfriend and that He needed to leave us alone. I almost giggled as I watched Sir digest that ridiculous thought. I belonged only to Him. 

My Sir just smirked a little and flashed those gorgeous blue eyes to mine, knowingly. He still hadn't spoken. Their hold on me loosened as each second ticked past. He laid his duffel bag on a huge rock nearby and walked over to me. He stood between my feet, just behind the boy whose softening cock was still inside of me. The boy scrambled to the side. Sir gave each of the boys holding me direct looks and they loosened their hold on me completely, scooting over to sit by their friend. 

I didn't move. Bending into a squat between my legs, Sir traced His fingers gently over my welting skin, over my inner thighs and deftly slid two fingers into my sloppy pussy. My back arched, forcing my pussy up for Him and a moan slipped past my lips. A smile of approval lifted the corners of His lips and I fought the urge to cum at His skilled touch, my eyes begging Him for permission. "No." He said, quietly, but with enough force that I knew my wordless plea had been understood. Sliding His fingers roughly in and out, slamming them into my pelvis, my body meeting His hand with each forceful stroke, He brought me skillfully to the edge, a place He recognized well. Two quick strokes past the edge as I held off the orgasm I had been denied, He removed His fingers, leaving me gaping and crying with need and want. He just chuckled.

He took my hands and yanked me roughly to my feet. I tried for grace, as I always do when I'm with Him, and failed... as I always do when He is yanking me around by hands, my hair, my collar. Dragging me over to the rock, He bent me over it and took the rope out of His bag. Tying me securely to the rock, He tied my hair into the rope forcing my head to stay up and looking strait ahead of me, my arms were secured all the way to my wrists, though my hands were left free. My legs were spread wide and tied tightly at the ankles and thighs. There was no give at all. There would be no wiggling tonight, whatever was in store. The boys watched in fascination as He spanked my exposed pussy several times, each slap harder than the one before. I had not been given permission, but I came anyway. There is no way to spank my pussy and I not cum. He knows this, but I received the four hard swats on my ass as punishment anyway. This was a torment He took great delight in, though He was not the only one.

My ass tingled as my hips gyrated wantonly and my breasts ached from being pushed so tightly against the cold rock. I heard Him speak to the trio of boys. He was offering me up for their use. They seemed doubtful at first, but it didn't take them long to put His generosity to the test. The boy who had been between my legs was now in front of me, his cock at my lips and I heard Sir say, "Open, slut." I opened and the boy slid his cock in my mouth. He seemed a bit unsure of what to do next. While he tried to figure it out I felt a cock pushing at the tight little bud of my ass and I cried out, trying to shake my head, but to no avail. The rope was too tight. I heard Sir tell the boy that if he wanted to fuck my ass, he had to have some lube. "I'm feeling generous, tonight." He said. But the boy seemed a little lost... there was no lube in the woods. "Spit on it, boy... fuck... just spit on it." Sir instructed and I grinned a little at the exasperation in his voice. I wasn't grinning for long though as the boy wetted his cock and slid it into my ass. He was not gentle, he did not know what he was doing, but he managed to get it in, finding his rhythm in long full strokes in and out. I could feel his hands digging into my hips and each thrust brushed my nipples painfully against the rock, forcing my mouth up and down the other boy's cock. 

Sir was at my head now. He was telling the boy not to be gentle with his little fucktoy. "She's strong, resilient. Don't worry about her, fuck her mouth like a pussy. She will take it." His eyes on my face as He said it. A quick slap against my cheek and I quickly responded, "Yes, Sir. Yes. I will take it. Please, please let this boy fuck my mouth." Another slap, sent my head floating as the boy grew bold under Sir's watch, thrusting the full length of his cock into my throat, banging against the back of my throat, gagging me with each stroke.

I feel Sir's strong hands gripping my ass cheeks, digging his fingers in mightily as the boys filled me from both ends. The third boy joined the second at my mouth. First one cock and then the other, sometimes both. I opened my mouth and took whatever they had for me. Sucking and licking and crying out with each stroke of the boy in my ass. 

I felt Sir standing close to me. His throbbing cock in my hand, I stroked Him. Long, steady strokes with my hand tightly wrapped around Him as He watched the young boys violate me. His hands alternately squeezing my ass and spanking it. The sensations of the four of them overwhelming me, sending me sinking, floating. The boy comes in my ass. I can feel his body tighten, hear him groan as he shoots his load deep inside, shuddering as my body convulses around him. He slides out and collapses on the ground next to the rock, leaving my asshole gaping and leaking cum.

The two boys at my mouth are stroking their cocks, wet from my spit. My mouth is open, drool sliding down my chin, long trails of it between my mouth and their cocks, begging for one to let me feed upon it but they delight in denying me such a treat and even the cock in my hand is no longer there. From overwhelming sensations to nothing but need and hunger. The boys are stroking their cocks fast and hard, so close to me that they bump my mouth, my nose, bumping each other as their hands slide wildly over their cocks. Words falling out of my mouth, nearly incoherent. "Please, please put it in my mouth. Let me suck that for you, please. Please give it to me." One of the boys slaps me. I moan. The other one puts his cock just to my lips as I stretch painfully against the rope in my hair trying to get his cock in my mouth and he laughs at my effort as he cums. His cum coating my lips, my cheeks, dripping off my chin. He rubs it around my face with his fingers as the last boy brings himself to the edge.

My attention is drawn to a cool sensation sliding up my thigh. I can't figure out what it is. A smooth object, cool to the touch sliding steadily towards my soaked cunt. There is a slight pressure at the tender opening and with a steady pressure I am filled with something cold... and hard. Filled, stretched. Whatever it is it's very wide, the pressure inside is intense. Even as the cool object begins sliding in and out of my pussy the last boys cums. Opening my mouth, he shoots the thick, salty cum onto my tongue. From behind me, Sir says, "Hold it, slut. No swallowing. And mind your manners. Thank the boy," 

I take all of the boy's cum on my tongue holding it obediently, saying thank you around the puddle in my mouth. The cool metal shaft still sliding tightly in and out of my wet pussy. The boys have all taken a seat on the ground, cocks in their hands as they absentmindedly stroke to the show Sir is putting on now. 

Accentuating every stroke of the thing in my pussy with a hard slap to my ass, the strokes become faster and faster. My ass is glowing, tingling, every new slap hurts more than the last. There is no rubbing after the slaps, no wiggling away, and no slowing of the thing fucking me. The tears come. I cum wetly, the cum sliding down my thighs each time the thing pulls out of my pussy. It is so big, fills my pussy up completely. I still have no idea what it could be, at this point I no longer care. I am begging for permission to cum even as the cum is running down my legs, splashing over Sir standing between them. I can feel the boy's cum oozing out of my ass each time my body convulses and I feel Sir's fingers exploring my tender asshole between his slaps on my ass. 

My body is wracked from cumming so much. Tears have streaked down my cheeks from the painful spankings. I can feel the cum drying on my face and the cum in my mouth has pooled with the saliva there and while I haven't swallowed it is slipping out of my mouth, dripping down my chin and over my neck, puddling on the rock in the swell of my breasts.

With a final thrust of the object deep into my pussy, Sir demands, "Swallow, slut." I swallow, relieved. The boys are sitting in front of me and I watch them stroke their cocks as they watch Sir and I and begin to swell again. Seeing them grow hard again, Sir encourages them to come back and join us. With a boy on each side of the rock, stroking them with my hands, Sir removes the object from my pussy and directs the other boy between my legs. Instead of fucking me, he kneels down and begins licking my pussy. While he was quite clumsy and inexperienced with his cock, his tongue is exceptionally talented and he has me cumming quick. He doesn't let up, licking me through orgasm after orgasm. Sir has worked His way to my head. He is standing before me, stroking His cock and watching my face. The words coming from me, punctuated with pants, groans, moaning... I beg for His cock. "Please, Sir... pleeeeeaasseeeee Sir... please can I suck your cock. It's so fucking beautiful, please let me have it... please let me show you how much i love it... my eyes follow His hand as it strokes, more words of begging, I love you cock, Sir... I need it. Please may I have it. Please let me show you. Desperation colors every plea. Straining hard against the rope in my hair trying to get my mouth on His cock and he stays just out of reach. 

He comes forward, sticking two of his fingers in my mouth and I suck greedily on them, sliding them in and out of my mouth, wishing they were his cock. He looks down at me, sliding His hand around my throat and my words cease as my breath is constricted. My body stills. His hand tightens and He brings His handsome face close to mine. "Slut. You are not to stop jerking those two boys off again, no matter what." I nod against His hand my understanding and begin stroking the boys again. Up again, His cock is so close to my mouth. I can't resist. I licked it without permission. His hand tight in my hair, yanking my head back and turning my face up to him... my hands don't stop and the third boy is making me cum yet again. 

I'm expecting a slap but none come. His cock is in His hand again and His hand painfully tight in my hair. He rubs the drying cum on my cheeks with His cock, slapping me with it. Chuckling as He watches the torment on my face. The boy behind me has stopped licking my pussy and has decided to try his hand at spanking. His blows start gentle, barely register but grow harder and harder, faster and faster. His hands are all over my ass, reaching between my legs and wandering down my inner thighs. The blows increasingly harder as he finds that he likes the cries of hurt coming from me. 

Sir draws my attention back to Him with one word, "Open." My mouth immediately opens and He shoves His cock deep into my throat holding me tightly there my air cut off and the panic begins to set in as i strain against the ropes holding me, wiggling around as the boy continues to spank the flesh between my legs. I haven't stopped cumming, my thighs are soaked with cum, making every slap of his fingers sting more. 

The boys in my hands are close to cumming and Sir instructs them all between my legs. "Cum on her ass." He tells them. "All three of you." I can feel them behind me jerking themselves off, my hips lift my swollen pussy, my gaping ass for them to see, writhing, craving the hot cum shower that is coming. Pulling my head violently off His cock, Sir gives me just a second to gasp for breath before shoving it deep into my throat again. Sucking Him as He holds me there, my tongue slipping out and licking His balls. He's so close to cumming. Both hands on my head, He fucks my mouth. Hard, fast, relentless without concern for me. Using me violently. He pulls me down hard, burying His cock deep in my throat. His growl as He cums sends me over the edge and I cum, hot wet cum squirting on the boys between my legs. Their climax quickly follows and my ass and pussy are coated in the mixed cum of the three strangers. 

Sucking Sir, milking every drop of His delicious cum into my throat like a greedy little slut should, I feel His body shuddering and He groans His pleasure. The boys are putting their clothes back on... making a hasty exit as Sir slides his cock out of my mouth. 

The clearing has gone quiet as my body gives out and goes limp within my restraints. Sir begins untying me, His words soothing as His hands slide over my tender, torn skin proudly. "Look how beautiful you look, My filthy little girl, covered in cum, your ass spanked red, dripping cum like a good little slut. You're such a lovely mess." I can hear the satisfaction and pride in His voice and I float in His praises. Even as the ropes are loosened and my body freed, I stay still against the rock, unable to move. Picking me up, Sir carries me to the bubbling creek and wades in. He sits down with me in the cool water and rinses the sins of the afternoon from my skin with a gentleness I could drown in. The water is cool against the spanked and scratched skin of my back and ass. It's wonderful to be in His arms as He brings me carefully back down. Wrapping my arms around His neck my well used slut mouth seeks His for a kiss and He happily obliges, kissing me long and deep. Murmuring what a good girl I am against my lips. 

I decide to wait until later to tell Him I didn't finish the task and curl up against Him in the cool water of the creek as the sun sets and the day ends. 

At the Back Door

The sun was hot on Sabrina’s bare shoulders as she walked up the dirt drive to the rustic old farmhouse nestled in the rolling hills of the countryside. It looked deserted, as she expected it would be. Her Sir, Travis, wouldn’t be there for a little while still and she had preparations to make. Her hand tightened almost unconsciously around the letter in the pocket of her sundress, her instructions. She was nervous but she had been anticipating this day for weeks. His phone call to her before she left the city was different than most of their calls. He had asked her how committed she was to him. “Anything, Sir, I’d do anything for you, anything you tell me too. There is nothing I wouldn’t do.” She told him without hesitation. “Of course you will do anything I want; you will serve any purpose I choose. That’s my good girl. Don’t forget, sweet one. Any purpose, anything I want” He said, his voice sweet with pride. “Yes, Sir.” She said her voice breaking just a little.

His instructions were precise and clear. He always made it easy for her to be a good girl, not that she always was. Their relationship had started seven months before this visit with a few lines of conversation in an internet chat room. They had an instant chemistry and she knew without question that he was the one she wanted to learn about her submissiveness with. Over the course of several conversations and electronic communications, he interviewed her and when she finally made him the offer of her submission, asking to be completely controlled by him, he had accepted. She had become his submissive. She had learned so much about herself over the past few months and she was hopelessly addicted to her Sir. Their physical encounters touched her to her soul and she was already at his feet in her mind.

She found the key, hidden just where he said it would be and went inside. The front door opened onto a large room that made up the kitchen and living room with a fireplace in the center of the main wall. There were no signs of modern technology in this place. The floors were rough wood as were the walls, the doors heavy and constructed of solid wood. The appliances dated back several decades. There was no phone, no televisions, and no computers. She had been instructed to leave her cell phone in her car, parked behind the barn. The lack of protective communication made her even more nervous, it was a test of her trust, she knew. However, even knowing it was a test she felt a now familiar tug of panic tempered with anticipation. It passed quickly and left a tingle of anticipation in its wake.

Off of the main room were two doors. One led to a small bathroom and the other to the bedroom. The bedroom had been modified for special company such as herself. There were hooks throughout the room, special restraints built into the bed, a bar that looked like a balance beam and a cabinet filled with all his favorite implements and restraints. Looking around the room, she felt her pussy begin to drip. It still surprised her that this room could have such an effect on her, but the proof could not be argued with. Her cunt was wet, had begun to tingle and she felt her nipples harden as she began to prepare for Sir’s arrival.

She put her bag down on the bed and stripped out of her sundress. She went to the bathroom and took a shower, taking time to shave her legs and shampoo and condition the soft patch of hair between them. After drying herself she walked, naked, back to the bedroom. She would not wear clothes again for at least two days. She left her hair down so that it would dry and begin to adorn herself. She placed his collar around her neck and locked it. Sliding her thigh high stockings over her soft supple legs and slipping her feet into the heels he loved, she shivered with want. She had 30 minutes until he was to arrive. She set the bedside clock for 20 minutes. She was to lie on the bed and edge herself as many times as she could in those 20 minutes.

Doing as she was told, she lay on his big bed, breathing in the scent of him on the pillows and began exploring her body in a slow sensual way. She knew that once he arrived, there would be nothing slow or soft about the next two days. Her fingers found her erect nipples; filling her hands with the fullness of her breasts she rolled the already hard nipples between her fingers. She meant to continue a soft exploration but quickly found herself pinching her nipples hard enough to make herself cry out. She didn’t know where they were, but she knew there were cameras in this room, knew he was probably watching her and she became aware of her time slipping away. She moved her hands down between her legs, her fingers tracing her lips and the slit that covered the heat and want at the core of her. She let slip one finger inside and was brought to the edge with just one stroke. Slowing her exploration, she slid her fingers from the swollen bead of her clit to the wet heat inside her cunt, her hips beginning to buck with want and the edge was easy to find several times. Bringing her fingers up to focus on her clit she began to circle the little bud in the way that never failed to bring her to orgasm. She thought she would be able to stop, to find the edge but it didn’t take long and the edge was gone and she came. Sabrina cried out and stilled her fingers the second she felt herself fall off the edge and into the orgasm. It wasn’t quick enough, her pussy was spasming with the quick release and her legs were clamped tightly together, her hand still between them.

She blushed crimson red, she knew he would have seen that and there would be a price to pay for her lack of control. She also knew that laying still would never do, there was still time on the clock. She slowly spread her legs and moving away from the sensitive clit, she used her hands to spank her pussy lips a few times but that too brought her dangerously close to another loss of control. Sliding her fingers in and out of her cunt, fucking herself was the easiest way for her to edge without failing and she brought herself to the edge twice more before her alarm sounded.

She went quickly to the implement cabinet to retrieve the rest of her adornments and to choose an implement with which she would be punished for her lack of control. That was not written in his instructions, but she knew the consequences for her failure, this was not the first time she had been unable to control her pleasure. She chose the wooden spoon as her implement of choice. It was thick, strong, with a squared and slightly concave spoon. She pulled out her blindfold, ankle and wrist cuffs and the chain. She left the nipple clamps in the cabinet. They were not her favorite and unless he specifically told her to put them on, she didn’t in the hopes he might not. While they were not her favorite, Sir really loved them and leaving them in the cabinet never worked, but a girl had to try. She picked her panties up from where they had been left on the bathroom counter.

She went back into the front room and out the back door. The main house backed up to a small lake and was surrounded on all sides by trees. It was very secluded. She clipped the chain link leash to the o-ring in her collar and put the cuffs on her ankles and wrists. She set the wooden spoon by her feet. He would know when he saw the spoon there that she had something to confess to him, if he hadn’t seen it on the video.

Lowering herself to her knees on the back porch, facing the back door she put her feet together, forcing her knees to spread apart and put the lock on the cuffs. She then put the blindfold over her eyes and put the panties she had worn on the drive up to the cabin into her mouth as a gag, binding them tight with his favorite silk scarf. Finally she placed her hands behind her back, the clips on the cuffs catching and binding her that way. She waited. She heard the sounds of nature, the water lapping at the shore, the boat knocking gently against the pier, birds singing and the trees rustling in the wind. The breeze felt nice even as the sun warmed the skin of her backside. Her mouth was already starting to ache around the pink lace and satin it was filled with and she was starting to get antsy.

It seemed like he should have already arrived. She heard a rustling behind her. Her heart beat faster, she knew it wouldn’t be him, she hadn’t heard the tires of his jeep. Again, she heard the rustling. She was getting nervous. If it wasn’t him, then what? Who? She heard distinctive heavy footsteps come up the back porch steps and felt a looming presence standing above her. She couldn’t be certain of course but she was very sure this was not Sir standing above her. She turned her head up and in the direction she believed the person to be standing, beginning to squirm against her bindings, the fear taking over.

The man standing above her smiled to himself watching her squirm, knowing who she was expecting and knowing that he was not the one. He bent at the knees, squatting down close to her without touching her just yet. He admired the creamy skin of her curvy body, her wild brunette hair curling down her back and the fear rolling off her. As she started to move her knees together, as if to try and get up, he leaned in close to her, tracing her spine with his rough finger; his mouth next to her ear he whispered, “Well, now… Travis told me my garden hoe he borrowed last week was waiting for me on his back porch today. Imagine my luck finding you here instead, his little whore.” Recognition and fear registered on her beautiful face. “Yes, little girl whore, it’s Jake from next door. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

Sabrina tried to shake her head no, but Jake roughly grabbed a handful of her long hair and growled at her, “Don’t tell me no, little one. You’re all bound here where my garden hoe is supposed to be. I don’t see a garden hoe anywhere, I’ll just take you instead… and little slut, you will be a good girl for your Travis and take it like he tells me you are so good at it.” She had sudden flashbacks of her last conversation with Sir. He said she would be used for any purpose.

Her face flushed bright red at the mention that Sir would talk to this man about her in such a way. His cock hardened at her blushing shame. With his hand still in her hair, he undid his belt and pulled it roughly off, unbuttoning his pants he felt her begin to struggle as his intentions began to sink in. With his free hand he picked his belt up, his pants around his ankles, his cock hard and throbbing. He struck her hard across her bottom with his belt, three times quickly causing her body to buck up, extending her kneel and exposing the top of her thighs to the next three stripes. She cried out against her gag and tears slipped from under her blindfold. Jake didn’t care about her the way Sir did and it was obvious in his extremely rough treatment of her. She bucked hard against her restraints and tried to wiggle away from this man who she had always known as the well mannered next door neighbor.

Jake yanked hard on her hair and struck her several more times in quick succession along her ass and thighs. He pulled her heels off and tossed them into the yard, striking the bottom of her bare feet with his belt. He heard her stockings tear as she fought against him and knew her breasts must be hurting from brushing against the rough wooden door in her attempt to get away from him.

He liked spanking her far more than he thought he would and his cock danced in anticipation as her ass and thighs began to welt up and redden. He felt her still and heard her sobbing. Immensely satisfied at the sounds of her sobs he let fly the belt at least 10 more times up down her backside. Her squirming and screaming had resumed. Every time she tried to wriggle away from his belt he yanked her back hard by her hair and relished at the sound of her screams each time the thick leather strap landed on her soft skin. Finally, with sweat soaking both of them and her still struggling to move away from him, he moved her away from the door. Out of curiosity he looked at her breasts, they were red and bleeding in places from the door. He reached over and slapped the side of each breast hard several times with his big, strong hands. Her body reacted violently to each slap. He pinched each nipple hard until she screamed. He knew if she could she would be begging him to stop. As much as he would have liked to hear that it was more exciting to know she couldn’t do anything but scream and hope that he would stop. She could hope all she wanted; he had no plans to stop.

Using the handful of hair, he moved her to the side, onto her hands and knees and positioned himself behind her. He pushed her head down onto the porch and shoved his throbbing cock deep inside her dripping pussy. She was crying and screaming but she was dripping wet and her hips bucked against him against her will, her body betraying her mind in a totally primal way. He pulled back hard on her hair as he began to thrust without mercy or regards to how she liked it. With every thrust came a heavy, hard smack of his hand to her already bruising skin. He fucked her like that for a very long time. She continued to fight him, crying out with every thrust. She heard him calling her a slut, a whore, telling her how much he was enjoying fucking the shit out of her while she fought him. “Fight me little girl, struggle, wiggle, scream. I’m the only one here, slut and I’m not stopping any time soon.” He growled at her, spit flying from his lips as he continued pounding away at her. She sobbed at his words; her body betraying her by cumming against his cock buried deep inside of her.

Finally, she felt Jake’s body stiffen as he came deep inside her swollen pussy. He stayed inside her for several minutes after he was done. Leaning over her, his cock still hard inside of her he said, “I’m gonna let go of your hair but you’ll be still or I’ll fuck you like that again. And this time, I won’t be gentle.”

Fear shivered through her. Her breasts ached and her pussy hurt and her ass was far more tender than it had ever been before. Her sexy stockings were torn and her face was dirty and tear stained. She felt his hand let go of her hair and she stayed still, her face down on the floor of the porch her ass still in the air, his cock still inside. Before she had a chance to feel relieved at the stillness of the moment, she felt his hand come down hard and fast spanking her, again. He had his legs on the outside of hers and he was holding her tight, unable to move. He continued to spank her, hard and without any rubbing between strikes; his hands landing hard on every inch of her ass. There was nothing she could do but cry and hope it would end soon.

Finally, the punishing blows stopped. She felt him slide his cock out of her and heard him stand and zip his pants up. She stayed just where she was, her body shaking and wracked with sobs. He picked his belt up and put it back on. With an almost playful slap to her bottom he kissed the small of her back and said to her,” Travis will be here soon, better pull yourself together. I’m sure he has lots of fun plans for you this weekend.” And with that he walked back to his own property.

Sabrina had no idea how long she was there on the porch by herself, bound, her ass raw and stinging, her pussy leaking the cum of her Master’s neighbor down her legs before she heard His jeep. She didn’t move. She knew she was out of position; she was not able to care. If there was a punishment she wasn’t sure it could not be any worse than what she had just endured.

She heard the door close and his familiar footsteps coming around the cabin. He came close to her, his gentle hands caressing her tender abused bottom and his voice like a salve to her soul as he said, “Well my sweet submissive looks like you’ve had a busy morning waiting for me. Come on now, it’s time to go inside. What a good girl you were for Sir.” He removed her blindfold and wiped away her tears. Her relief at the sight of him brought a smile to his face. With a smirk and just a hint of sarcasm he ran his fingers gently over the cuts and bruises on her breasts, “Looks like Jake was a little harder than I tend to be… poor baby.” His grin looking at her cuts and bruises belied his poor baby comment. “Come on submissive, there are parts of you that got no good use by Jake, I’ll make sure to pay special attention to them, luv.”

Sabrina allowed herself to be stood up and he un-cuffed her ankles so she could walk. He untied the silk ribbon from her mouth and pulled the panties out. He kissed her gently, long and slow and holding her firmly he asked, “Did you enjoy paying my debt to Jake, submissive?” She nodded yes; she knew that was the right answer. He gathered a handful of her hair in the hand he had on the back of her head during their kiss, just a warning which she was quick to heed. “Yes, Sir… thank you, Sir… for allowing me to be useful to you today in such a way,” she whimpered. “That’s my good girl; you have pleased me well today, sweet submissive. Now let’s go see about that sexy mouth and tight little ass that Jake was so kind as to overlook.”

“Yes, Sir…” was all she could say as he led her inside, picking up the wooden spoon as they did.

Dreaming

A dream I had once...

I was in my office. We were on Skype. You had issued instructions that I was not to do anything at all that wasn't clearly instructed. Your directions would be thorough, every move directed.

Sitting in my office chair, I saw your face flicker onto my screen and I couldn't help but smile. I saw your eyes light up a little at the sight of me and my submissive soul sighed softly. I heard your voice. Demanding. "Stand. Strip." I thrilled at the directness of the encounter, my smile replaced with a lusty seriousness as I obeyed without hesitation.

Standing before you naked, breathing and trying not to be nervous. "Turn." I turned.  "Stop." I stopped mid rotation with my backside to you. "Stay" I stayed. Focusing on standing still and not fidgeting... giving you unfettered access to me visually while my mind ran wild with visions of your hands wandering over my backside, stroking my hair, swatting my bottom and the satisfied look on your face as my ivory skin pinked up under your swats.

A minute or so passed. "Turn to me." As I came around to face you again, you crooked your finger at me to come to you. I started to take a step. "Crawl." Caught mid-step by the unexpected direction, I fell quickly to all fours and crossed the small area coming to a stop where your feet would have been. Arching my back, my head down, hair falling softly over my shoulders, I hoped to present a pretty picture for you.

"Up. Kneel before My cock. Knees apart, hands behind your back" You said (I had prepared, and had the play cock attached to the drawer of my desk and the monitor of my computer directly above it to, as closely as possible, mimic your positioning if you were here).  I obeyed, kneeling with the cock just touching my lips. Looking up, our eyes met for a brief moment before you shut off your camera and blinked off screen. I swallowed hard and tried to hide the moment of loss I feel when you do that. I kept my eyes on the screen, knowing that you would be watching.

"Breathe deeply of my scent, kitty." came your voice from the dark screen. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. In my mind I could smell the masculine scent of you, the drop of pre-cum on the head of your cock making my mouth water. I felt your cock twitch against my lips and your eyes, filled with lust, on my face. I felt your hand in my hair. The temptation to lick the pre-cum from my lips, flicking my tongue teasingly over your cockhead was so hard to resist.

"Open and look up at me." I opened my mouth obediently, your cock resting on my bottom lip, and my eyes lifted to the place where your face would have been. I waited. You let me sit the better part of a minute. "Kiss my cock. No tongue. Do not suck." I kissed the head of your cock, fighting the urge to lick you, to suck you greedily into my mouth and worship you with my tongue. "Again." I kissed it again. "Again. and again until I tell you to stop." I kissed the tip again. I kissed along the shaft on both sides. I kissed just under the head. I kissed your balls. I kissed again on the tip, my mouth suckled the tiniest bit as I lifted away.

"Slap your right cheek. RIGHT NOW" came the next directions in a very harsh voice. Blushing, my eyes dropped and I slapped my right cheek. "Harder. Do you think I would have been that gentle?" My eyes flew to the monitor, "No, Sir."

"Harder" was your reply. I slapped myself again. I felt the color rise to my cheek where my hand had been. I could hear the difference in your voice... "Better. Open your mouth." I obeyed. "Take your right hand, fist it tightly in the back of your hair and pull your head back just a little." I obeyed. I thought I would feel silly to do such a thing, but I immediately felt myself begin to sink as I imagined your fist in my hair, turning my head to your face.

"Do you want to suck my cock, slut?" I nodded, the best I could with my head held back, my eyes on the screen. Quickly adding... "Yes, Sir. Please may I suck your cock?"

"Push your head onto my cock, take every inch into your mouth, all the way to the base. Apply continuous pressure to the back of your head. I promise you, kitty if it were my hand, the pressure would be heavy. Make sure you apply the same."

I pressed my open mouth over the head of your cock, applying pressure to the back of my head until every inch was in my mouth and the back of my throat. "Stay." I stayed, even as my breath shortened and ran out. My left hand started to come from behind my back as the panic began. "NO. Put your hand back. Tighten the fist in your hair." I tried to lift my eyes to you. I tried not to panic. I put my left hand back behind my back and tightened the fist in my hair, moaning from the added pressure, my pussy wetting... my nipples hardening at the control you were exerting.

"Jerk your head back, do not slip and scrape me with your teeth when you do." I obeyed a bit frantically, gasping for air as your cock slid out of my mouth. "Again." Before I could effectively catch my breath, I was pushing my head back down, my mouth taking your cock in. Holding myself there again, I gagged, my body convulsed with the gagging and I heard you moan as you watched, "I would have thrusted my hips just then, you would have taken me deeper even as you gagged on me." I moaned at your words, at the violent thoughts they invoked.

"Release. Violently again." I yanked my head back again, gasping for air, a line of spit trailing from my lips to the head of your cock. "Again." I hesitated for one last breath before obeying and sliding your cock roughly back into my throat. As I reached your balls with my lips, your next directions came, a harsh edge to your voice. "Slap your left tit... hard... twice, directly on the nipple and next time I say again, you will not hesitate. Do you understand, you fucking disobedient little slut?"

I nodded, my mouth full of cock and my breath stolen. I mumbled, "Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir" the best I could and slapped my left nipple so hard it brought tears to my eyes. "Again." I slapped it again, my eyes, watery and filled with lust and pain lifted to find your face on the screen again. You met my eyes and held the contact even as the panic began again.

"Release." I didn't need to be told to snap my head back, I knew what was expected and I obeyed. Gasping greedily for air as the tears that had welled in my eyes slipped down my cheeks. "Again." I did not hesitate but pushed my head violently over your cock and held it there. I looked up to see you stroking your cock to my suffering and I sank deeper. I waited, choking and gagging as I was held there against your body, my mind imagining your hand holding me there, your skin rough against mine, your heartbeat felt through your cock, totally connected to you in a primal unquestionable way. I forgot that I was struggling to breathe. My tongue slipped over your cock and I sank deeper.

"Release" I pulled myself violently off your cock by my hair, the absence of your taste in my mouth almost a physical ache. I remembered to breathe while I had a chance and my lusty, flat eyes met yours again as I watched you stroke yourself. My pussy tingled with want and need. You made me watch, your hand in my hair as your stroked yourself looking down at me. My body writhed, my mouth watered and my breathing became less desperate.

Your breaths were coming shorter, your eyes heavy with lust as your body tightened and readied to cum. "Open your mouth, slut." your demand was harsh and filled with need. I opened my mouth, my right hand still in my hair. "Stroke my cock until I cum." I lifted my left hand from behind my back and stroked the cock in front of me. My eyes never leaving your face. "Beg for my cum, you dirty little girl. Tell me how much you want it. How much you need it. Make me want to give it to you."

I struggle so much with this part, the dismay must have been clearly evident on my face as I searched for the words and tried to get them out of my mouth. You stopped stroking, your eyes raging as you demanded "Don't you want my cum, slut? Do you know how many women would beg me without hesitation for the gift I'm about to give you? Do I need to get one of them to beg me for it? Should I just leave you sitting there with your mouth open and your legs spread wantonly and find someone who can do the simple things I ask her to do?" The look on your face and the tone of your voice inticing a panicked desperation within me.

"No, please Sir, please no... don't leave me. I want your cum, please. Please, please, please may I have it. I need it. I crave it. I love your cum, I love your gifts." Moaning in desperation, writhing with need as the words tumbled out of my mouth with your cock resting against my lips.

"Keep begging." You started stroking your cock again and I followed. I could feel your cock bouncing against my lips with every stroke as I willed the tormented pleas to continue off my tongue. My voice husky, heavy with lust and desperation.

"Swallow me. Both hands on the back of your head, shove your mouth over me. NOW." you growled and I immediately obeyed, taking every inch of your cock into my throat as you pulsed violently, thick ropes of delicious cum sliding hotly down my throat as I listened to you growl and moan your pleasure. I stayed with you in my mouth, hands tightly in my hair, greedily milking you for every drop, I could feel your body shudder and convulse.

As your orgasm relented and your breathing regulated... "Release. Slowly. Arms behind your back, ass on your heels." I did exactly as instructed. Sitting on my heels, back strait, hands behind my back, my eyes watching you in your post orgasmic calm. My pussy dripping for you, my lips swollen and my throat sore, tears drying on my cheeks.

"Cup your face, left hand on your right cheek, trace your thumb over your lips, know that I would comfort your now." I lifted my right hand to my left cheek, laying my cool fingers over the pink skin I had slapped earlier, closing my eyes and nuzzling my cheek to your hand as your thumb skimmed teasingly over my lips, opening my mouth just slightly to suck the tip of your thumb between my lips for a kiss.

Whispering against the pad of your thumb, "Thank you, Sir." a soft moan escapes when I hear you say, "You are a very good girl, kitty. Now bow and stay there while I dress." And I bowed contentedly even as I felt the wetness drip from my pussy to the floor. My nipples wantonly brushing the rough carpet. I was not to be satisfied today... I would be left hungering.

I heard rustling as you settled back in. "You are beautiful when you are bowed to me, kitty." I floated on your words without lifting my head. "Curl up at my feet." I pulled my arms in and my legs, my head resting on the floor at your feet. "Sleep now, sweet kitty. You have served me well, today." As I drifted off, I could feel your feet placed on my back, crossed at the ankles, using me as a footrest. I sighed happily and slipped away to sleep.

The Beast

He is my Big Bad wolf. My beast. My most terrifying nightmare and my hottest fucking wet dream come to life.

My need calls to Him and captures His attention.
Lingering, He looks me over.

I stop short, my breath caught in my throat, standing bare before Him.

I see Him looking at me as though He might devour me at any moment.

His eyes feast on my exposed flesh, He thinks of licking the skin from my very bones.

His need vibrant as any living thing, hanging in the air between us as He begins to circle me.

Standing very still, I watch Him. He thrills me. He tempts me. He frightens me. Still... I stay.

I watch as His tongue slides over His lips, licking His chops, imagining how my flesh will taste when He comes to feast on me.

His nostrils flare as the scent of my arousal fills the air.

I see His muscles tense and my pulse quickens. He waits, restraining Himself… drawing out the moment, the tension in the air slips over my skin and I shiver.

I feel the danger in the air. It is heady, exhilarating. I grin wickedly. He terrifies me. I know He will swallow me whole and I don’t care if I will survive Him or not. I want His teeth on me. 

Stinging jolts of electricity slide from my tummy to my cunt as I hear His low, throaty growl, filled with an undeniable hunger for my flesh, for my innocence. He circles ever closer.

He tightens the circle, His intensity intoxicates me and my knees weaken.

His eyes dancing with mine, unable to look away, my soul an open book as He learns every page intimately.

His sharp senses are honed to my very breath, my heartbeat is felt in His fingertips as He circles closer.

Unable to stand. Compelled by my own primal need, I fall to my knees, my head bowed, I offer myself to the beast without restraint.

In a storm of heat and electricity he closes the circle in two strides of His long, powerful legs.

In a flash He is upon me, His hands binding me, His teeth marking me, claiming me as His own.

He devours me, all that I am, forever altering all that I will ever be… leaving His undeniable mark on me. 

Introspection about talking dirty

4.14.14

I learned something about myself today. Want to hear about it? Of course you do. So I will sweetly oblige and tell you all about it. Actually two things. If the first ones doesn’t take a gazillion words to express, maybe I’ll mention the second one too.

So today was all about words... verbal expression... verbal submission.

I am a lover of words, specifically written words. I fancy myself a pretty decent writer, even… when I put my mind to it, anyway. I’ve been writing erotica since junior high and when I discovered sexting, it was almost as good as sex to me. A strong man with a well used vocabulary can make me very weak in the knees with nary a touch, only his words. He can also make me squirmy, wet, floaty and if he’s really good and the words arranged just so, he can make me cum without a touch.

I also love the spoken word. I am a firm believer that the words you speak shape your world. So whether you speak negative things or positive things you will have what you speak. The problem with the spoken word is simply that once you have spoken it, you cannot take it back into your mouth and correct the misspoken bits and pieces before they fall upon the ears of those around you.

I can write some of the steamiest, raunchiest, naughtiest erotica you might ever lay eyes upon, but ask me to read that story to you or tell it to you, verbally … I will be at a total loss. My cheeks will blush, my heart will race and my lips will seize up completely. I will not be able to do it.

Ask me to talk dirty in bed  and I will probably act like I didn’t hear you and moan a little louder to show you that we don’t need words… we have noises… Ask me to tell you in explicit detail about a sexual fantasy of mine and the blushing, the racing heart and the closed lips will happen. Everything that slips out of my mouth will sound forced, unnatural, and not sexy at all. That is, if, I can even get any words out.

Now, ask me to write you a note or a story telling you explicitly what I want you to do to me and you will get a story that will knock your socks off (usually anyway). But even asking me to write or text what I would say to you in bed or any other such situation and there will just be no words. My mind will suddenly be a blank slate.

I have wondered for years, why this is. What is the mental block? I think today, I figured it out.

During the course of our conversation today, he texted, “If you explain sufficiently and passionately enough that your entire purpose is to be my toy, I will reward you with my cum in your mouth and on your face.” 

*sigh* dang it… The words… the words always kill me. I tried to brush it off, saying something about speaking in sexual situations being my mental kryptonite. It piqued his interest as that text was followed by…

“Picture yourself naked, kneeling before me, my collar around your neck and your leash in my hand. Tell me your deepest fantasy.”

There were no words. Wait, let me rephrase that… there were lots of words. I have lots of fantasies. Some pretty mild and others very dark. I share them in six word tweets and tumblr posts. I don’t whisper them to a strong and powerful man while kneeling at his feet. I couldn’t even type them out when my mind had me in that position. I was blushing just thinking about it.

Even mentioning that good girls who do what they’re told to do get rewarded, I still couldn’t put the words together. So he gave me a little task to complete in solitude of my office. I was to imagine being on my knees before him as described earlier and simply say, out loud, “May I please suck your cock, Sir.” That was it… seven little words. It took me several minutes to get the words out of my mouth and even then, they came out barely a whisper and I could only do it with my eyes closed. My cheeks were so hot, blushing like crazy. But… I was rewarded with the praise I’ve come to love.  And the conversation continued.

A little bit later, we came to a place in the conversation where I playfully mentioned how much he might like to have my pussy wrapped tightly around his cock with my lips close to his ear, every breath, every moan and every word punctuated with his thrusting. That brought the question from him, “What would you say to me as I punished your pussy?”

Crap… another request for more spoken words. (I know, I know… this is what good Dominant men do to willing subby girls… they push them, they stretch them. They find the areas where they need growth and they help them grow. As much as I was blushing during the conversation, I admit, I loved the gentle pushing.)

But. Still… nothing. Not one single sexy phrase would come to my head, slip off my tongue… I put myself, mentally, in that position, under his hand, his cock buried violently inside of me, pounding away… what could I say, what would I say… the only thing that came to mind was that I would say anything he told me too.

But he wanted my thoughts, my most twisted desires and raunchiest fantasies whispered against his ear. He didn't want words he gave me whispered back to him. What would he learn about me from that? What would I learn about me? Nothing.

But that is the extent of my experience with verbally sharing fantasies in that sort of sexually charged situation.

(History lesson: Many of you know, some of you don’t, but this is my secret life. In my real life I am married. I have a family. A job, kids, the whole nine yards.)

So my husband might say, who do you belong to? I know the answer to that… You. I belong to you. Do you love it when I fuck you? I know the answer to that. Oh yes, I love it when you fuck me. You’re such a little slut aren’t you? Know the answer to that one too, Yes, I’m a little slut.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a very hot, intense exchange of constants and vowels punctuated with grunts, and groans, and cries of pleasure but it’s pretty basic. Simple. It doesn’t require much of me. It’s also very safe. It’s all about him and the moment we’re in. Now when the subject of fantasies is brought up that’s a wholly other thing. Start talking about fantasies and you open up a whole can of worms. Some of which might be darker or more twisted than my husband is prepared to hear that I am interested in. I know, from hard learned experience, that many of my fantasies scare my husband, they turn him off, they make him look at me like… who the hell are you and where is my wife. So I have learned over the years to keep certain fantasies to myself. To dream of them only when my eyes were closed or I was alone.

I share them in my secret places like here, my twitter, my tumblr. I don’t share them where he can see and I never, ever talk about them out loud. So when it comes to completing the request today of telling, in detail, what I want done to me or what I might be doing to him… I froze up.

Here comes the part where I learned something today. I learned that part of the reason that I freeze up and get so blushy is simply that while I have a seriously wide naughty streak in this sweet, normal girl shell, it always surprises me just how naughty I can be and it makes me blush, makes me feel shy and makes it hard for me to be brazenly naughty. But what I learned today is that there is an element of fear and rejection that goes along with it because of my real life situation.

When I do find a way to open up and verbally express those desires to have that openness met with fear, jealousy or outright disgust quickly causes me to pull back into myself and keep those fantasies and twisted thoughts much closer to myself.

Now I’m being asked to find my inner slut and share the darkest fantasies I have with a man I find myself desperately wanting to please. What I know is this. There is not a single desire that I can think of having that would put even a morsel of fear or jealousy in this man. None that he would be reluctant to help me achieve. Every naughty fantasy I have would be sweet music to his ears if I could reveal them to him. There would be heat and lust and desire created that would be more intense than possibly anything I’ve experienced before. For the first time in as long as I can remember I felt like I could have said anything in response to his request, given him any of the deepest darkest corners of my mind and he would have reveled in that darkness, licked it up and exposed my very core to his probing, to his curiosity and ultimately to his satisfaction.

Bring

Out

That

Filthy

Slut.

I want her.

His words have an immediate and direct effect on my libido, my panties and my desire to do the things he wants me to do. 

ownership across the miles - long distance D/s

These are my thoughts on online or long distance D/s. At the end of the article I have listed some resources that I came across recently while researching the topic further.

On my journey to discover my inner submissive, I am restricted by my real life circumstances, and limited in the ways in which I am able to explore that part of myself. The only submission I can explore at this time in my life is long distance / online submission or as I have recently heard it called cyber submission.

I know that a lot of people in the lifestyle think this sort of submission is a joke. To those who have seriously engaged in it, it is not a joke. We know it's not the same as hands on, face to face D/s... but some people may never experience that and this is what we can experience.

I've written about it a couple of times here because it is a huge part of my journey and I know that I cannot be the only person who is limited to this sort of exploration. One of the most important parts of a long distance D/s (LDD/s) dynamic is how to continually engage both sides of the slash. How to keep things interesting and intriguing and rewarding for both. I believe it requires an excellent imagination, devotion, adoration and creativity from both sides.

With that thought in mind I did a twitter poll yesterday to see what some of the other LDD/s do to keep things fresh, interesting and everyone in the proper mindset of ownership and being owned. There were some really great ideas that I want to organize, share and comment on. I'm also going to add to the list some of the things that have really worked for me throughout this journey. One positive to having been considered by so many is that I have been exposed to a lot of Dom styles and tasks.

Without further ado (that's how that goes, yes?) here is the list and my accompanying thoughts:

>> Have the sub kneel each morning for a certain period of time to clear her mind and help her focus for the day.
I can see this being very effective. As someone whose mind chatters constantly it might be a struggle to get it to shut up and sit down for a few minutes, though. I wonder if given certain things to specifically concentrate on would help with that. 

>> Texting a predetermined phrase each morning / evening / between activities / etc... to the Dom... such as "Good morning, Sir. Today I am yours."
In any good long distance relationship I've been in, the Dom has been the first thing on my mind as my mind begins to come up from the dregs of sleep and usually the last as I drift off.  To know that He was awaiting that message, that He wanted to know what time I woke up, that He was the first person I thought of as I did... that would leave me feeling very owned, very secure in the knowledge of my place. 

>> Along those same lines, I had a Dom who required me to text each time I left one place to go to another. It was his desire to know where I was at any point in the part of the day that belonged to him. I was concerned about this one b/c I had been in a very controlling marriage and it was not good for me. The difference was that my Dom didn't care what I was doing or where I was going. He just wanted to know so that he could gauge his attention, tasks, etc. accordingly. For the period of time we were together (6 weeks), it worked for us without growing tiring or trying.

>> Taking control of certain things, certain decisions that would be made by the Dominant. Such as nail color, daily hair style, panty or clothing choices, jewelry choices, or daily activities such as being allowed to participate in social media that day or not.
I actually really like this one quite a lot. With one of my Doms the rule was that he would decide what panties I would wear each day. I had to text him a photo of a few choices with enough time for him to get back to me with a decision. If I had to leave or get dressed before his decision was returned, I had to go commando. Even on the weekends (which were very challenging) I had to figure out a way to do this.... I'm sure that somewhere I've mentioned how much I enjoy a challenge, yes? ;) I think with this sort of decision making, it would leave the sub feeling owned every time she looked in a mirror, adjusted the skirt He picked out, looked down at the nail color he chose. I figure if He is going to see my hands in photos and videos quite often, he should enjoy looking at them. Choosing a color he likes or a style that I wouldn't normally choose seems like a small thing, but every time the Dom and the sub caught sight of that visible obedience the power exchange would be strengthened.

>> Writing on her skin. Having her write a phrase or a word somewhere discreet where she will see it throughout the day, but where no one else should be able to see it.
This is an absolute favorite. As an added touch of exerting your ownership, ask for photos throughout the day of the word(s)... as if you had just walked up to her wherever she was and slid her blouse aside so that you could see your marks on her skin, a photo of that moment sent to you. I imagine that would be extremely gratifying for both sides of the slash esp., if (like most of us) her phone (camera) is never very far from her hand... so she should be able to snap that photo on demand (discreetly, of course) *wicked grin*

>> Tasks.
I could write all day on this one thought. Tasking, at least for me, is absolutely vital to maintain the sense of ownership across the miles. I don't even care what kind of task it is. Sexual tasks, great. do some research, great. Go to bed by a certain time, be at the office by a certain time, send a photo once your dressed or when you take a bath or whenever, write in my journal everyday, etc. I am a sucker for clear, concise instructions given by a strong, Dominant man who EXPECTS me to follow those instructions. Set daily tasking or out of the blue impromptu tasking. All of it works to establish and maintain the power exchange that both sides need. 

>> Rituals.
If there are things that you, as the Dom, would have your sub do for you if you could be together such as prepare and serve your coffee or draw your bath, etc. You could have her do those things for you even when you are not there. To prepare a cup of coffee to His specifications, to serve it in a way that would be expected of me if He were present (naked, on my knees, offering it up to Him or standing quietly as He took His first sip) -- I'm not sure how that would make me feel. Not sure if I would feel silly serving a cup of coffee to no one or if it would soothe me to be able to perform the act of service. I'm just not sure about this one. 

>> Watching her online activity.
I know without question that I love love love love this one which shocks the hell out of me and always has. But there is something about knowing that He is watching me, watching those I interact with, reading the words I write and seeing the pictures I post. It's so fucking hot. Now, there is a disclaimer here. It can't be done in a suffocating, jealous rage, looking for reasons to punish sort of way. But if He watches with the intention of learning more about me from the way I interact with others, if he uses the things I write and the things I post as doors to open communication with me about my desires, my fears, my dark places... if He watches with the intent to keep me safe from myself and from others and out of a genuine curiosity to know more about me... yes.that. always. 

>> Journaling. Writing in a journal of some sort. That could be a public journal like this one, a private online journal that only the two of you have access too or a hand written journal.
I love journaling. For me it is almost a necessity to help me work through the emotions and feelings that come with submitting and the pushing that goes naturally hand in hand with that. I also think my journal provides an insight for my Dom into things that He would know if we were together, but with a long distance relationship, those things are sometimes difficult to decipher. If we are texting and He sends an instruction that causes me hesitation, he won't see that hesitation as he would if that instruction were issued face to face. But it is there for a reason. That reason needs to be sorted. When the day comes to an end and I journal about it, that hesitation would be part of the journal. He would then be aware of it. We could then get to the heart of it and He would then know one more little thing about my responses and reactions that He wouldn't have otherwise known about. One of the biggest challenges of long distance is conveying the emotions evoked by your partner. There MUST be a way to ensure they know how they effect you and they need to know it in as intimately a way as possible, as close to the way they would know it or see it if you were in person, face to face when it happened.

>> Consistency.
This is a huge one for me. I like routines. I need to know when I can expect my Dom to be available to me. If we spend all day everyday of the week texting and suddenly on a Tuesday afternoon I don't hear from Him for 3 or 4 hours, my head is going to do me completely in by the time He gets back. Maybe He had a pop up meeting at work, or His mom stopped by and wouldn't shut up... it won't matter, those unexpectedly out of touch hours will drive me to the edge of madness wondering what I did to send him running in the other direction. The flip side of that is simply letting me know He would be away for a while or had a busy day in front of Him, would make that a completely different day for me. The consistency bleeds into every area, not just the availability issue. But, if one day something I do on Twitter is ok and another day (based soley on His mood) it isn't that is going to set me up for some unhappy insecurities. If one day He disciplines for a broken rule, a sassy mouth, a bad attitude, disobedience, etc., and another day He doesn't (for whatever reason) it confuses the sub... it also gives strong subs a toehold that any good Dom is not going to want to give her. Be very careful to be consistent. I don't know a single sub who can function well under an inconsistent Dom.

>> Communication.
Just like with any relationship and maybe even more so with a D/s relationship and even more so with a long distance one... communication is absolutely and totally vital. Open, honest, candid communication at every step, every turn. You have to be able to discuss what you want, what you need and what you absolutely won't do. You have to be able to express your emotions (as your going through them) so that each of you knows what the other thinks, feels, expects. When something happens and things feel a little broken, a little strained... you have to be able to pull that thing out of your head and put it on the table and both of you get our your picking tools and get down to the business of figuring it out. 

>> Technology. Smart phones, KIK, YouTube, Skype, facetime, Whatsapp... just to name a few. In today's day and age, with the technology at our fingertips we can know the contours of each others faces, fingertips, whole bodies. We can know the sounds of pleasure our partner's make as they do things to themselves that we would do if there with them. We can know each others' O face and whether we scream or grunt or growl as we cum. We can watch our partners shake and shiver in satisfaction. A Dom can see the delicious torment on His sub's face when He edges her, can hear the agony in her voice as she obeys His command to stop. He can know what it looks like for her to be on her knees for Him. He can visually inspect her, He can make her watch as He strokes Himself off. There are endless possibilities for creativity.

>> Punishment. Can this be done long distance? Oh yes. It can.
I think the main thing a long distance Dom has to do is get out of the physical punishment mind set. A Dom could require his sub to spank herself and I'm sure she will. The question is can she ever deliver the blow with the same meaning as you could. For me any sort of impact play that I will be performing on myself should be for the enjoyment of us both. I'm not sure how effective a physical punishment would be for me. Now, having said that... there are some physical punishments that would be very effective. Kneeling on rice. Banding nipples a time or two tighter than you might for pleasurable nipple play. A stool or mat with upturned bottle caps that is to be sat on or stood on for a period of time, video'd or marks photographed afterwards are just a few examples. Another very effective punishment is all mental. I did something one time and the Dom who had me under consideration told me that because of what I had done I was not to speak to Him for the next four hours. I thought to myself... ok, I can handle that. But, then he started texting me. Telling me that he was talking to another sub, a well behaved sub. Texting me random tormenting things. When I would think about responding and started to type (he could see if I was typing) He gave me the equivalent of "the look" for an in person Dom, keeping me quiet, my fingers still. It was a very, very long four hours. Exceptionally effective. Punishment can most certainly be done long distance. It just requires creativity. 

Added (4.18.14)

>> Spend time together. Sounds strange, I know. How do you spend time together when you're hundreds of miles apart? Simple. You play on twitter, you play on fetlife, you text or IM throughout the day, you skype or facetime, you talk on the phone. Spend time together every day.
This one is of the utmost importance to me in my submission. I need my Dom's attention. I need to know that I can reach out for Him and He is only a few keystrokes away. My first Dom and I spent pretty much all day, every day of the work "together". We opened g-chat when we got to our offices and it stayed open all day. Some days we talked all day, other days it was just nice knowing He was just on the other side of that chat box. With others since that one, I've done skype and phone calls and lots and lots of texting. Just like any relationship, you have to spend time together to get to know each other, to figure each other out, to be better for each other. And, I don't know about you, but I WANT that time. I look forward to it with eager anticipation every day and I can be restless and unsettled without it. Make each other a priority in your daily lives.

>> Experience all the things. Do the things. If you don't know what it is like to sit in a certain position for a certain period time, do it and then you will be able to make accurate descriptions of that activity during play. If you don't know how being a human footstool would make you feel, actually get down in that position and fill your mind with the scene, feel his boots on your back, what would you be thinking, what would you be feeling? Stay there until you get your head around it. Your Dom can help with this by describing the things he would be feeling, the things he might do or say while you were under his feet like that. LDDs is very mental, it requires an active imagination and a well used vocabulary, but you can and should add as much of the hands on physical parts as possible.
One of my last Doms and I used to talk about me being his personal coffee table in the mornings and having to hold still enough while on all fours that he could place his coffee cup on my back and it not be spilled. I tried and tried to get my head around whether or not I could do that. Finally, I gave up thinking about and decided to do it. I asked him what kind of coffee cup he drank his coffee from. He sent me a photo and i had a cup just like it in my kitchen. Tall, tapered, ceramic. I asked him how he took his coffee. I made the cup of coffee as if i were going to be serving it to him. I rinsed the cup in hot water first, as he instructed (just a tad bit of a sadist) and set up the webcam to record my efforts for him. It took me several tries and much sweet, sticky coffee streaming over my bottom and the backs of my thighs, slipping over the nakedness between my legs (b/c of course, I was naked... he wouldn't have me serve coffee any other way *grins*) before I figured out the proper width of my knees and flatness of my back to make it work. I video'd all of it for him. I wanted him to see that I really wanted to experience the things we talked about. I wanted him to enjoy watching my owie face as the hot coffee slid over my skin and I wanted him to see that i could be his coffee table... to see to what lengths I would go to, to please him. I no longer have to try to figure out how i would feel if my Dom wanted to use me for a coffee table. I KNOW how difficult it is, i KNOW the reality of how still I have to be, how my arms and legs start to shake and my breathing gets shallow, how difficult it is to keep the position and just how much hot coffee over pussy lips is a delicious sort of pain. I also know how sticky it is when it dries b/c i wasn't allowed to clean up what I spilled for a while. Experience the things. Run the rope through your nipple rings and tie it off to your big toes so you'll KNOW how that feels. Hit yourself with your flogger, your crop, your paddle so when you are playing with others, you can actually describe in real detail that experience. I am not a fan of golden showers... not my thing, but the same Dom from the coffee story loves them. He wanted me to experience one. So he had me fill a turkey baster with hot water and kneeling on all fours in the bathtub release the water over my lower back and ass. He had sent me a very descriptive text of what I was supposed to be thinking about while I did it to get as much out of the experience as possible, including to visualize the smell, the words he would have been saying to me and the thoughts that would be going through his head. It was incredibly effective. 

Wow... If you made it all the way to the bottom, I'm impressed and thank you for sticking around through all the words :) Hopefully it makes sense and possibly helps anyone considering a long distance dynamic with ways to keep it interesting for both sides. Did I miss something? Do you have something that works in your dynamic? Share it in the comments below :)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES (I will add information here as I come across it):

Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s online - a very good post about safety and the reasons why online D/s might be the right choice for your exploration.

Online BDSM - A lot of this one is about cyber chat room role play (which is really not what my LDDs is about) but there is some good information in here.

Online BDSM - some of this seems a little outdated but there is some good information in here especially about the dommy mcdomertons.